~Darkness~

Now that I'm upset and need a shoulder to cry on, nobody is there for me..I came to realise that promises are just to make people feel appreciated for a short time and disappears as time flies. But when you're down, I always try my best to make sun shine for you and to let you know that nothing bad last forever.

For you,my queen,I'm willing to do things that I don't enjoy and take risk of not finishing the whole load of work that are waiting for me to do when time is running short. I have to pretend that I can manage my work well although I am not so sure of it because I want you to see that I can stand on myself and most importantly,I do not want to feel worry of me in any sorts of way. You NEVER know how stressed I am the moment you misunderstood me from the very beginning because I always managed to cover things well and put on a ''I'm fine'' mask every time I am at home. You do not know that the main goal to whatever I have done and obtained in my life were to satisfy you and to see the smile on your face. She said that she kept on showing me off and telling good stuff about me to her friends because she was very proud of me based on all the achievements I got. But she didn't know that never in my life I feel truly proud and happy for myself when these things comes to my hands because I never have the thoughts wanting to achieve whatever I have today. I was happy because you both were happy. I got them because I know you both wished for it. It's more like the satisfactory to be able to fulfill your wish that made me feel good. Sometimes I feel so stupid for kept on doing things for other people although I know that I do not really want to do so. I know how it feels like when one can hardly find anyone who truly understands her or him, therefore I tend to observe and see the inner side of other people.

I'm feeling so alone..Good.

~Hugs~