So hard..

There's so much things i need to spill out..so much..i dun want to keep all these unhappy things in me anymore..but,i just can't do it..i need u,tyng..right now..i miss the moments we hv together when we're in sktm..that time,we share everything..sorrow,laughter,everything..u nvr tell them out coz u understand and whenever i need sumone,u seems to know..u never use me and understand me really well..whenever i did sumthin badly,u didn't keep quiet and look but encouraged me to do better.Every year on my birthday,u'll be the first one who wish me birthday right after midnight..but now u're not here close with me anymore..i really mise u,tyng..

I cry like mad man..tsk..tsk..

Don't worry,i'm not hurt or sumthin..was just so touched after reading this book titled 'red sky in the morning'..it's bout this girl named Anna who had a brother named Ben who has Down's Syndrome.Her brother brought light to her life and he means alot to him although he is not like any other kid..Somehow,nomatter how delicate she care for him,sufferers of serious Down Syndrome cannot live long..my tears flow badly at the end part of the story which wrote''I opened my door and went quietly along to ben's room,and slipped inside.The curtains had been drawn,and there was only a dim light coming into the room.The nurse had moved the cot.It was in the wrong place,alone,in the middle of the room,where he couldn't see the pigeons who were already pecking on the window sill.''I'll put it right for you,"I whispered ,and pushed it back into place.Then,i looked at him.He was the same.He was himself,asleep.The bedclothes was unnaturally tidy.One hand laid outside the coverlet,the little fingers curled up relaxed.The nurse had brushed his hair,and his curls lay smooth as creamsilk against his big,blue-veined head.He didn't look anguished,choking for breath,in pain.Just restful,and quiet,and happy.My foot kicked sunthin soft.It is his fluffy rabbit.I picked it up and tucked it beside him.My hand brush against his face.It was cold.I couldn't pretend anymore that he would wake up within a mnt and lift his hands up asking to be carried.But i knew he's still alive with me,still near,loving me.I knelt down,on the floor beside the cot,and stroked his hand gently.I talked to him things.I told him what happened when i first saw him,and how i love him straight away.I told him he was the best kind of brother and that i never wanted him to be different.I told him i'd go loving him forever,as long that i live.I told him he'd be alright.And then,i kissed him,to say goodbye and ran out for his room and onto my bed..And when dad came to me later,i saw him and found out that i could cry,i couldn't stop and we cried together..''