~Back~

Came back home today~sob* I really don't wanna leave that place tho..it's like heaven or even better than that.I love the way the wind blow softly at my face,the sound of the sea,the green views of the all mighty mother nature..they're all too beautiful to be described in any sorts of way and in fact,you can only really 'feel' all these by being there yourself :) What I did at the last hour there before going back home is to cycle and exploring the small roads with my 9 years old couz.We were both giggling and chatting throughout the journey and yes,I love u dear :) U r so cute and sweet :) May you be forever happy and healthy,Jia Yee :)

I didn't manage to do what I'm suppose to finish there except for the art work.Lol.Took the four days of hold to watch 'A.N.JELL',a korean drama with my couz and my god,it's really interesting.After that,went to watch Avatar.Lol.I'm so dead.Exam is like..in two weeks time!:( Oh well,it has always been like that tho..study last minute is so my style.Many people asked me how did I manage to finish studying in two weeks but honestly,what I did was to sit down at my own chair and start remembering all those long long info until my mum ask me to eat my dinner.Lol.So..it's not exactly the best way to study but that's how i did it by luck which is not so good cuz I can actually get so tensed up before exam..Haha..

~Hugs~

~Double Reds :)~

~What do you really want?~

I won't believe it until I ask you and you tell me honestly.

We'll see.

.....................................................................................................

I'll be going back to my grandma's house this Sunday together with my whole pile of account tuition hworks,add math exercise book,and maybe my art theory hwork..haih..so much to do :( Guess I need to get ready to get some lectures from my grandma for doing hworks during cny.Haha..she's so gonna pump me up with food :P

Will be going out with Mun tomorrow to buy a gift for a friend tomorrow right after school while some students will be staying for their house practice~Somehow something tells me that it will definately be tough because her taste is super..unique.lol.Now I know how it feels like when my friend searches for the ideal gift for me.Haha..God,I'll look like a student who pontengs class tomorrow with me wearing my school shoes :P Spoil my image..Haha..

Form 5 is really starting to get so stressing.It got even worst after people found out what I'm just averagely good in.Honestly,never in my life I actually think that I'm good in art because I saw many people out there who are so much better than I do.It just happen that the teachers know me..And it spreads super fast.From students to teacher and vice-versa.Haih..I didn't like it at all.People tend to just throw all those projects or jobs that needs a touch of creativity to me.It was okay before I step into Form 5 because by then,I was consider quite free.And now..what did I get myself into?

Spbt:Throughout the years,I've been doing most of the board decorations with my friends and Miss Yow loves our design.And I thought that I could escape from decorating the board for once this year as I'm not under keceriaan~thank goodness.However,sadly Miss Yow still wants my friend and I to do our yearly 'routine'..:(

Blue house:Surprisingly Kim asked Win Wei and I to take in charge of the marching troupe which got both of us into an ultimate blur state.So,we had to force David to lead the troupe and this morning,he told us that he's under Krs.LOL.Should have realise that earlier.Besides him,I didn't know who to pick as the commander already.The scouts are okay as in better than the rest of the students but I didn't want them to get into trouble or create some 'issue' so better not touch them.In the end,I asked Kim to find somebody else and she said she'll handle the problem :) But that's not all.Now Win Wei and I are both cracking our head to think of some unique yet nice ideas that can be used on 'decorating' our young marchers.I didn't want to turn them into clowns like what the previous seniors did cuz I understand how the marchers felt.

And now,sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga,Mr Hippo was really making my life turn upside down.Honestly,I really couldn't figure out what he really wants..so sudden.He wasn't like that previously..It's like almost a total 360 degree change..what's bothering him?If only he'll make things even clearer and if he really wants it,I'll try not to appear in his sight.I didn't want to avoid but he's making me feel like I'm irritating him or something.Just tell me,kay?Don't just leave me hanging on the thin rope.

~Hugs~

~................~

''The guy who does not deserve to love and be loved.Don't cry,get upset or emo cuz this is not the Yun that I know.Be the girl who laughs hard at even the tiniest thing till her face turns tomato red and need at least 3-5 minutes to calm herself down.''

Lol.Thanks..I love you guys so much :) I know exactly what to do.

At first I was very upset but then,the more I thought of it,the more angry I became.What?So he's just playing with me for more than a year?!Playing all these while.Okay,so was it fun??Oh,you got bored?So poor thing..Oh oh,okay.You can get more toys and have more fun.Bye.

Cold.Selfish.What more can I say?Yes,you're right.You came and leave just like that in my life.You never try to understand or learn how to care for other people cuz it had never really occur to you that someone actually cares for you which infact,there is not only one but many.You may not notice but you tend to hurt other people with the words you say,if only you could really learn to think from other people's point of view.You were being very selfish and ego for the very first place cuz you never bother to go to people but always the other way around.Sometimes,I even wonder why must you keep everything to yourself,not wanting to share it with other people..secrets..It must be tough.Perhaps you didn't trust people easily and by not sharing much,being the mysterious you,you kept on thinking and thinking about the life you want.I don't know why but you sorta gave me the impression that you was feeling lonely and alone inside..

You're a really nice guy inside,I know.But the only problem with you is that you do not know how to care and think for other people.Perhaps the you're satisfied with all the fun you had all these while but there's one thing you should know.For me,true joy an only be obtained when you help and care for other people,thus seeing the huge smile on their face.That very moment,a wonderful feeling will fill your heart cuz you know that everything you had done had been deeply appreciated as it brings joy to not only people around you but also you.I'm not saying it's your fault and not stopping you cuz I know that everybody have their right to be who they are no matter what.It's just the matter of how willing are you to change for the better after knowing your mistakes.Nobody is perfect,so am I but as long as you try to change,it's good enough already.You may have your own reason of why do you act like that which I may not know,I'm sorry cuz I'm not you.Only you yourself know what is good enough for you and I truly respect it.Nobody's right and nobody's wrong in such thing but if you first want to feel how's it like for a person to care for you,you must first care for other people.Observe other people's behaviour and slowly,you will see what I see.Eventually,you will notice how much things you have missed throughout the years.Trust me.Please do not misunderstand my message in this post as I'm just spilling out what I'm thinking of you.I do not know whether you will take it as an insult or whatsoever but honestly,the only reason of why I bother to type all these out is because I really care for you.

~Hugs~

~I'm going to do it~

This is what is suppose to happen from the very beginning anyway..

So..

Yun..

Should laugh more like the usual you in school.Laughter is the best medicine and contagious :)

Lol.

Don't want to write much now.Some things are best to be kept in the heart and mind.

Fullstop of the last chapter.This time for real.

Thanks for the memories.

~Hugs~

~Worth a million smiles :)~

Once again,it's too good to be true..Congratulations 5 Seroja!!Our effort won us the 'Highest money earned' in the Smk Bu3 2009 carnival~Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!We spent so much money,time,laughter,tears,petrol,coupons(grinn**),sweats..lol..A memory to be treasured always and forever :)

Today,some form 4 guys came into our class and went through most of everyone's bag while all of us are away for BC.The door wasn't lock and there's quite some number of us who left our purses or wallets in the bag.Upon coming back,we were all so shocked to see our bags scattered on the floor,some on the tables and left opened..

And then,one friend of mine started squatting down on the floor with both her hands on her face,crying non-stop.her friends crowded around and comforted her.It was soon revealed that she lost a total of Rm 500 which is for her fees.So poor thing..Infact,I think it's quite expensive to buy a lesson for Rm 500.The class monitor reported to Mr Bong and immediately he went to ask the prefects to do some spot-checks on the Form 4's but to no avail..

I was considered very lucky to find that my money is still safely kept in my purse :) Thank goodness..Cannot imagine what will happen if I lost the Rm 200~Few days of lecture from my mum..And that unlucky girl was just sitting front-next to me!

Thank goodness

xP

~Hugs~

~The Last Chapter~

Just finished writing my librarian resign letter which I have been trying not to write ever since the last librarian meeting :( My my..I can't stand looking at my librarian badge and uniform :( Lately I've been noticing how much I could cry just one day~everyday to be exact,anytime,anywhere as long as I'm not doing anything,my mind would fly and start thinking about the library that I have loved soooo much ever since form 1. T.T

Haihh..I hate my life now.

I'm done designing the SPBT T-shirt and yes :) It's approved by Miss Yow and my fellow clubmates.All I need to do is just to edit a little bit more of here and there then,it'll be fine.A million sparkling 'tank-ques' to my cousin for spending some of his precious time contributing his thoughts of how a T-shirt should be designed suitably for both genders.Xie xie ni!! :) Will be posting up the three-coloured design soon,so stay tuned :)

Spbt~It is the only thing that I have now,the decision that made me cry and let go two very important things in my life;the library and therefore,him.So,please..don't make me feel regret later on..I sacrificed so much :( Sob**

I see him when I see his favourite colours

He made me smile like no others

The sight of his back made my heart beats

He is the only one that could make the sun shine through the rain

It's getting harder and harder no matter how much I'm trying to convince myself that I have unwillingly taken the right decision which also had left me so lost in the murky water under the endless night.He was almost the most magical person that I have ever met since I stepped into this school.In fact,there is no appropriate word that I could use to describe him accurately.It is starting to get funny to me thinking how could an individual fall for someone whom she wasn't really close with in reality.It have always been an 'off and on' friendship for more than 2 years like seeing the water disappeared into the sands without any trace.He's my candy with a surprise centre.

There are many times that I wanted to walk and start talking to him but I kept on got held back as I do not have the courage to face him.Courage isn't the main problem but I feel so awkward,once again to be always the one who act it out first.I'm so tired but he does not understand that I can't always be the one who give.I'm a girl and not a boy so why can't what I did all these while just happen the other way around.

I really care for him but there's no signal that he might be feeling the same towards me.Absolutely nothing and pure whiteness.It's like telling a wall that you love it.LOL.I'm so dead.

~Hugs~