~ Break Free ~

I haven't been blogging properly for the past few weeks. So irresponsible. But there's nothing much going on, nothing interesting, no stress, no specially happy nor sad moments, no heartbreaks, no feeling love or being loved, feeling heavy yet light.. My mind and heart is blank. Literally but totally. :/ I am like a walking warm zombie.

Symphony of a small piece of ex-memory:
Protective

I've put too much hope
I've been fooled
I've been hurt
I've been cracked into pieces
Yet still in a piece (Whatt??)
I said cracked, not broke (Ohhh)
And now my door is locked
With a chain
I'm so tired
But this is life
I don't wanna care anymore
No, no, no
I don't wanna care anymore
I was wrong
I moved on
I really did it this time
I won't go back to December anymore
I don't wanna care anymore

No, no, no

I don't wanna care anymore

It's going to take me a long time

Before I fall in love again

I see no evil

I hear no evil

I speak no evil

What?

Doesn't seems to relate

But it does

If you look deep enough into it

No hatred

No bad feelings

Just good remembrance

Of the day I grew stronger

I don't wanna care anymore

No, no, no

I don't wanna care anymore

Hey Cupid Dupid

Stay where you are

Yes, you

The one with cute wings

Don't you dare to come flying above my head

With that bow and arrow of yours

Cuz Iah'

Gonna shoot you down faster than you think you could

This is no war

This is no shooting spree

This is just a deal between you and me

Let's respect each other

Just don't bother

Leave me and don't come back

Until I find another

Then we can both have fun

Together

I don't wanna care anymore

No, no, no

I don't wanna care anymore

Let's be friends and have fun

Cuz' I don't wanna care anymore

See-An-Why is just three more days away, I can't wait to go except the fact that I might end up eating a lot and still doesn't get fat. Yee Sang,  I wonder how high we can all toss this year. :p The weather had been so cold since yesterday night as the sky kept losing his zoo of cats and dogs. Johor flooded heavily again. It's like a routine since the location is lower to the ground compared to the rest of the states. Plus, it's having a 'cup-shape' like landscape, thus increasing the chance of collecting rain water.

~Hugs~

~Boredom~

It's already like one month plus++ since I left school and for the first time in my whole entire life.. I feel really lifeless. I think my brain is shrinking (literally) or working relatively slower because I've not been doing much proper 'intellectual exercises' like writing, doing homework, memorizing for exam and.. sports! Owh.. how much I miss basketball and the awesome feeling of feeling light and 'bouncy' after stretching. *Sigh* I miss studying. :/

I have always wanted to volunteer myself for charity work so so soooo much and since I finally got the time for it now, why not? :) But first, I need to google and seek for the nearest place.

As for part-time job, I'm searching for those which only lasts for 3 days for certain reasons, and found the event types which would be just the thing I want.

Okay, lets' end this post with a huge SMILE. :D

~Hugs~

~ Mssg u~

I go back to December all the time. It never changes, still the same, I could only find for another white bear with the same characteristics. This is the one I wanted, but it's not meant to be mine.

Cuz I'm not the right fruit.

~Hugs~

~Undang Delight~

I thought I would be sitting for the Undang test alone yesterday but the moment I stepped into the William Lee's Driving Agency, I saw a familiar face. Ching Ling, my 'brother'! Woots~ Funny to think that it was all three of us (Britny, Jimmy and I) when we went for the 5 hours KPP Course but in the end all of us sat for the Undang test separately, one week after another. Britny was solo. Jimmy was solo. I was expecting to be solo too but it didn't turn out like that. :D Aaaaahhh, so lucky. :D

42 out of 50 to pass.
I got 47. :( Yer, I was hoping to get full 50 but it's okay. What matters most is I still PASS! Triple smile here: (: (: (:

~Hugs~

~Mushroom~

Something is not right.. Something important is missing from my life now.. And to think about it, I have not been exercising for one single bit since the day SPM got marked down and one month before it even started. That would be two months in total. Yes, TWO months. My goodness.. I do not want to be end up harvesting mushrooms. But with the three guys 'missing' (WT in college, CS and WK in school), probably mummy would not allow me to leave the house alone either. I am so bored at home and my daily routine evolves ONLY around reading newspapers, Undang, cooking, going online, watching TV, sms, eat, sleep..

So lifeless..

I want to get back to school! Right, better not think about it until I fully decide on whether to take up architecture, advertising or psychology.
Architecture?
Not many girls go for it because scientifically proven, we are weaker on the technical sides and the word "collapse" shook me a little. Heheh.. :P
Advertising?
Highly competitive, endless stresses, challenging, get to meet variety people etc.. But most of the successful human out there strongly discouraged me to go for arts. They seemed to get all so 'gek' and object directly the moment I speak about art.
Psychology?
Very flexible, branches out to PR, HR, Marketing, Psychology.. etc.
I once thought about law but that would mean I need to burry my whole life with books. I want to do something that requires both creativity and management skills and at the same time, not make me look like an apple locked in a cage.

Back to exercising, I shall start with sit-ups. I doubt I can do much but it's worth a try. WT said 100 times would be the ideal range, with only 5 minutes rest at each break. Gambatte YUN!

~Hugs~

~ Keep It Playin' In My Head ~

" If you ever loved somebody put your hands up, and now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything. "

Have you ever been in love but let it slip through your fingers, only to realize your mistakes when it is too late?
Have you ever looked into the mirror and ask yourself why did you let it happen?
Have you ever find a way to replace your mistakes?
Have you ever tried to get that something that once means a lot you back?
Have you ever put your heart in it?
...
Have you?

As their body hits the cold water and splashes are last felt by their feet, deep down to the bottom as they go to explore the big blue ocean they used to love. As bubbles reaches for the surface, the path ahead them slowly appears.. quite dim but just bright enough shone by the sunlight that fights the waves to reach them. Colourful corals, waves hello as a school of fishes swam pass them and disappears into the darker shades of water ahead. A magic is bound to take place. The boy swims slightly to the side to give way to his whale as he reads the word " Malaysia " printed repeatedly in darker shades of grey across it's big smooth belly surface. As the last trace of tail disappears to the surface, the boy emerged and swiftly garb hold of his whale, now a grey horse which obediently allows him to climb over it's  back. For a moment, they seemed to own the world. The rising sun had punctured the dawn sky with streaks of red. It was beautiful. As they leaped from one end to another, they came across a rider and his horse who ere struggling to climb up a cliff. Upon seeing how easily the boy and his horse are able to do it, feeling challenged, he took his bow and arrow and shot the horse just right below the neck. Shocked, furious and upset, the boy shouted at the rider for his inhuman act. His horse did no wrong. He dived for his horse into the water and reached for it, now lying motionless on the sea bed. Hugging and not wanting to let go of the stiff body of his horse which is starting to feel cold. In a few minutes time, there wouldn't be any warmth left.

Something shiny caught his watery eyes.

He reached for the silver metal object attached to the horse's body. Cubic, looks like a small TV, or a video -TV-like cam to be exact. As he pushes the 'ON' button, it plays the journey that both of them had gone through together. Something that no words can describe. A bright orange-neon colour with bright red and green stripes on the clown fish-like fish blocks his view. It took his attention away from the 'TV' as it swims upwards. The mesmerized boy cannot help but to lean forward and tries to give it a touch. First, second, third, fourth attempts but never once he succeed.His fingers kept sliding through every parts of the fish. The dorsal fin, fin rays, tail.. The sense of curiosity eventually fish him standing and wander the rest of the aquatic creatures on the foreign land. Branching corals, seahorses, turtles, dolphins, seaweeds, sea anemones, seashells, clams.. you name it, he can even slide his whole arm through them all and wear them stiffly like a ring or a hula-hoop. Pretty soon, he finds himself staring at a super long single storey castle. Out came a sea gnome and the sea king. Knowing what the boy wanted to ask, the gnome explains that everything that he had just seen are created by the sea king himself, now looking quite old and pretty exhausted. He needs a rest, he had done enough for today and will continue tomorrow. All these* are created for the souls of those who had once lived and died underwater. For Larren, the name of the boy's horse. As they all stared into space, a faint shape of a horse is seen.

After finished typing the above down, somehow I think it looked more like a story to a dream. But the fact is, that was what I dreamt about in my sleep this morning. :) Oooh, I even came up with a conclusion from this dream I had: Jealousy can kill. Human wonders.

~Hugs~

~ 4th Jan 2010 ~

The day the plants and trees commited suicide.

On the way back home from the hospital yesterday, my mum and I were astonished upon seeing numerous trees lying across the road with their roots clearly seen still freshly tugged from the ground. As we slowly drive around the housing area, we saw nothing else other than the trees that miserably lied across the road, that they used to grow lining side by side as the road go. Big trees got pulled to the side by the trucks. Upon reaching home, we were surprised to find our dear mango tree broke one of it's hand. The following will show you what are the wonders that people will do when facing with such situations:

1) My cousin came running saying her roof extension got blown upwards (Wow.. *Laughs*) and her dad's plants came bungee jumping down one by one from the concrete fence. And so.. The very next day, we saw him screwing each and every plant pots he have to the metal bar with nails.. Especially his bonsais.

2) Another friend who was brimming with confident and laughing at those who's trees fell kissing Earth because she did not plant any trees in the garden of her house. Little did she know, she ended up as the one laughing the loudest at herself for that when she reached home, she saw one tree laying in front of her eyes. In the garden of her house. Nobody know how it got there. It was a gift from the wind. *Laughs*

From what I heard, the strong wind came by sudden after a sudden heavy rainfall. It happened so fast that all the dry clothes hanging under the big blue sky looked like it just came out from the pool. Magics in the wind, they blew so strongly that they made the plants grow legs, which didn't last long enough for them to conquer the world. Sad case. So many plants died.. :(

Visited Chai Teng today and she looked so much better after yesterday's surgery. Such a quick recovery, she was already sitting up leaning on the bed when we arrived this afternoon. But her back still hurts her a lot, so it was shown on her face. She can hardly talk but loud enough for us to listen. The doctor came in after that, asking her to try to stand up and walk. My goodness, but she just had her spinal chord surgery yesterday. Ouch.. So I asked the doctor about it and he said, most of his patients undergo the same procedure the day after the surgery and got discharged from the ward on the third day. So, we watched how he helped her to stand up and it looked so painful that I think I forgotten to breathe or something.. When the doctor kept asking her does she feel any dizzyness, I ended up to be the one having my vision got blurred and blurrer. I was about to faint. There goes me, leaning against the chair with my aunt applying ointments on my head. *Laughs* So, basically they (the doctor, nurses.. Etc) were all joking about it. I am not the patient, but I am the one getting dizzy watching. LOL. All because I forgot to breathe. Haha.. To think about it, although being the one watching, I can feel her pain. With all the pipes and needles poking into her and the bloods.. Uhhhh.. I wonder how will I end up like if I am a doctor. *Laughs* Anyhow, I wish that she will get well soon, and may her operation scars pain reduce. From a bend spinal to a straight one, she would be about the same height as me now. :)

~ Hugs ~

~College Dilemma~

I am supposed to sit for my Undang exam tomorrow but based on the condition I am in now, it pretty looks like I gotta delay the exam. My cousin who will need to undergo a spinal chord surgery soon might need some help in getting to know all the preparations she needs to know or do. Yeah, so basically, it will definately be like a 'One-day-translator-cum-info-asker' experience for me. Mummy told me by the time I am done with it, it would already be night time when I come back home. So, I guess I will be learning a bit of the society skills here and there.. *Sigh* May the surgery go smoothly, to think about it, we are in the same age, Ting dear. She had this problem since she was very young but think about all the hard time she had to go through all these years just to wait for the time she could finally finish her final school exam (SPM) and settle down for the surgery. *Prays*

Trying to save for college education. As I will be going for the A-Levels, it will be great if we could use the money for the degree instead, since they are similar, maybe slightly different if compared to other colleges. Went to TARC today just to find out that the office was closed and the distance to get to that college was really far, which means.. IF I  were to go there, I need to wake up at 5.30 a.m., sit LRT from Kelana Jaya all the way to Wangsa Maju which takes about 1 and a half hour every morning. And then, take a bus to the college. It's not that bad.. I hope..Think of the bright side, I can learn to be more independent and use the money instead for my degree which will be done in a better college. Although it means arming with pepper spray at all time. The fees as really cheap tho, haven't even reach 10K yet but probably with the SPM results, I guess I only need to pay about 2K or free. But in the end, mummy seems to be thinking of putting me into INTI because it's the second closest college to my house, after KDU. KDU was the first choice and I was about to enroll into that college when I received a phone call saying that they will not include my SPM Art result for the scholarship because it's not a core subject. Sounds pretty ridiculous to me because other colleges accept any subjects for the scholarship if you get an A for it. I am taking 10 in total and in order to get full scholarship, I can only afford to lose ONE precious A which will be Add Math. I mean, that's the main reason why I take up art subject for SPM because I know my capability.. I am not a straight-A student.. *Sigh*

Mummy is not feeling well, she's down with fever and flu. Every time this happens, I feel so bad, really bad and upset. I blamed myself silently for she over-worked herself with the house chores, fetching us to school and stuff like that.. I couldn't even do much to help her because she wants me to use my time to study and finish up all the school work instead. Perhaps I am being to sensitive, but the hearing the word 'useless' or 'stupid' can really trigger my emotion because it will make me feel that I am not doing enough for my mum as a daughter. I am trying, please do not say anything that keeps pushing me backwards and break my spirit especially when I am doing this all for my family and I.. Not everyone is as lucky as you. Thank you.. You will succeed in life. I want to be successful too.

I will never give up. I won't give up. This is my promise to you, mum.

I need to buy more fruits! The fridge seems to be running in low supply of it. Shyyyttttt... I'll check if they got sell fruits nearby the hospital tomorrow, need to get Kiwis since it's high in Vitamin C. Can cut them for mummy as soon as I reach home. Mummy is not feeling well and she does not even want to go to see the doctor. So hard-headed. *Sigh*

Okay, it will be 1 a.m. in about 10 minutes time. Need to go sleep now, I am the only one alone downstairs, and need to wake up at 6.30 a.m. tomorrow to go to the hospital.. Mmm.. So quiet.. Kays, goodnight. :)

~Hugs~

~ New Year Tale ~

Once upon a time..

The evil witch named Rappidzel..

Laid an evil evil curse when she..

The evil evil evil one..

Found out that..

Her role as the main character in Red Riding Hood was taken over by a little girl..

Who was in fact a hobbit in disguise..

After eating her magical red bittergourd..

Planted by the her slaves..

The seven tall gnomes..

So, each year..

The Kingdom has no choice but to have an annual tradition..

To replace their king one by one..

So finally..

The time when King 2010 steps down from his throne..

Prince 2011 was only 1 second years old..

And got elected as the new king..

Everyone was happy..

Because he..

Got a crown..

Made out of..

A bottle of milk..

..

And a pacifier.

That's how the phrase :


Comments by ZingerBug.com


Comes about..


And they all live happily ever after.


:) Drank a bottle full with boredom. And a pinch of lameness.


~Hugs~