~Shadow~

I am stuck.. or lost.. in iTunes. :( They made it sound so easy but I still do not know how to manage my iTouch with it a single bit. *Sigh*

I can't see you but I know you are eyeing. Every steps that I take.. You actually care, don't you?

~Hugs~

~Just A Dream~

I have a huge feeling that this is going to be a long post. :)

Participated in the Erra Art Sketching Competition at 1U on the 19th of Dec (The day before my last SPM exam: Economics). We are all given an art block each and were supposed to walk around the beautifully decorate main concourse area to get some inspirations from the Christmas decorations. Finding the perfect view wasn't tough but it was the sketching that really broke your spirit because everyone were doing so well. Worse, I got this young artist (based on the clothes he wore) who sat beside me and drew like.. magic. Surprisingly, I emerged as the champion which won me RM 1500.00. In two hours. Not a bad deal in exchange for a few hours of your time yea? Guess it was my lucky day. Not lucky, but very lucky. Thanks Buddha! :) And I was so happy because I thought I could give it all to my mum but end up, she used part of it for my driving license which falls on the 23rd. Yea.. :( So, I rushed back home at about 4 pm, crammed the Form 5 economics into my head as fast as I could ( Form 5 text book only consists of 3 Chapters~ 3 LONG chapters) but I couldn't finish. Woke up at 6.30 am on the morning of the exam to finish up the remaining one chapter before rushing to school and was slightly late. :) But it's okay, it was all so worth it. :)

Rewinding time back to the first day of SPM. What got the lady examiner smiling when I was asked to take out only the stationaries that are needed for exam was these:

All blue. :)

It kept appearing, disappearing and appears again when I least expect it. At first it was the car's plat number and now it is this:

The serial number on my prom ticket. But.. What is these all supposed to mean? Curious.. but I guess I will never know. Will just wait and see what will be coming next. *Sigh*

It is only just a dream. Time to wake up.

Registered at the same driving agency as Britny and together, we went for the 5 hours long KPP Course. Surprisingly, Wei Jim is under the same driving agency as us both. Therefore, all three of us shared the same classroom and will be attending the rest of the next coming courses together as planned.
And then.. we saw Wee Liam! All the best to him this time. :)
And then.. I saw two friends from SKTM.. DJ students.. both guys.. both scouts.. Junx and Chin Tak. I recognized them the very moment I saw them while they were quite.. urm.. slow? Haha.. At the end of the day, I still doubt that they know I was there. :D

Oooh, my brother is putting the 'blame' on me for passing down the 6 A's gene for PMR to him. Lol, then what about me when Cai Li jie jie did not pass her straight A's gene to me? Haha.. The Cycle of Life. :)

For the past few hectic days, most of my time had been fully decorated with schedules and things I need to do by the end of this month. Was offered only 8K scholarship from KDU College, in WHICH I lacked of only one more A to obtain a full scholarship for A-Levels, in WHICH was caused by the lack of only 2 more marks for Moral to get an A. So sad weih.. I can't do anything much now but to hope for the very best that I will get at least 9A's for SPM so that I could replace the 8K scholarship to a full one. Basically, there is about 70% that I might be going for law IF I enter college but still deciding on whether if I should go for Form 6 or not. I don't want my parents to spend so much of their money on my studies but my mum seemed to be so sure of putting me in A-Levels. If only I could fast forward time and see my SPM results..
*Sigh*

My grandma came down from Perak to pay us a visit and I can't help but to feel so happy that she is still in a pink of health. Don't know why, but I find the elderlies can be really cute sometimes, a little blur yet sweet here and there. It is like you automatically response with every single moves they take and treat them in a surprisingly, super gentle and polite manners. But whatever it is, I always stick to my principle: Not to over-take-care the elderlies because it will make them feel as if they are weak and unable to do a lot of things themselves. Let's try to think from their side. How would you feel if people kept helping you even in the simplest thing you used to be able to do? Exactly. So, somehow the best thing we can do is to continuously show support and concern to them but at the same time, never over do it. :)

Watched Rapunzel for the second time with Suet Tyng before she furthers her studies to UK.

It's so good that you will enjoy watching this movie again and again and again. :) Besides all the beautiful things I have seen and love in life like the stars, clouds, and moon, floating lights definately got the thing that made me go "Awww... there goes my heart" <3 Before I forget.. Merry Christmas to all. :)

Our dear DIY tree won us the third placing in the recent tree decorating contest. :)

My complete set of prom photos:

~Hugs~

~Tissue Girl~

My nose have been so hardworking like a running tap since 1 a.m. this morning alright. Way to go. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the tissues for being so loyal. We had just caused the Mr. Dustbin right over there to look like Red Riding Hood's basket filled with snow balls. Oh, wow. Thank God, my bag is filled with an unlimited supplies of tissues to last me until the SPBT work ends, like 3 hours? Oooh, Ching Ching even gave me a glamour name to go with it. 'The Tissue Girl'. Haha. :) What do you think of that? Awesome right?

........

And so, upon reaching home, I slept from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Woke up for lunch. Then went to sleep again from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Woke up again for dinner. Then, I shall sleep again before 1 a.m. Goodness gracious, I sure sound like a pig. Oink* Somebody closed the running tap for me and now I feel like I just attended a night fever party. One after another but yeah, it is supposed to be this way. Before you get fever, you get flu. After you get flu, you get fever. Tongue twister, stage one. Are you up to the challenge?

If a thief cannot get away with his crime, so does anyone out there. Gotcha'! Got just got caught on the camera so smile and show your beautiful sets of teeth you have there.

9 out of 10 are ego monsters. I do not see what is the fun of being ego.

Top 5 most annoying word or phrase in the English language:
1) Whatever
2) Like
3) You know what I mean
4) To tell you the truth
5) Actually
This clearly explains why you can get taken back when people say "whatever" sometimes. Agreed, I find it really rude. It's scientifically and mentally proven anyway. Mmhmm.. Are you thinking what I am thinking? :)

~Hugs~

What is the first thing that struck your mind if one day you did something that you would never find yourself doing even in a million years? Something that breaks your "What's yes and what's no" principle in life? Wacky. :)

Mmm.. Let's just put all these into what I have gone through during today's outing with the darlings. All these while, I always find the act of entering the clothes shops, putting on clothing that looks appealing and snapping pictures of yourself in it is really "lala". There are absolutely nothing wrong with trying out the clothes in different shops but snapping yourself in it when you did not even buy it is a major problem. As I haven't really get my prom dress yet (I am running out of time), I was brought to many shops and the girls helped me in picking them out. But different people got different taste so I chose only the white ones (which was tough because I NEVER fall for things easily) while the girls took clothes they would like to try on. Then.. things got funny when they introduced me into the "culture" in which made me go *screaming oh my gawd, oh my gawd inside and kept thinking that this is so unbelievable, I am actually doing all these* but after awhile, it was okay. Slowly I started to get a hang of it and then we messed with the funky glasses. Lol. I do not know whether this is weird or not but it is actually the very first time I am doing all these. Learning new stuff, I suppose? Haha.. I wouldn't say it is a bad thing because it helped me not to become so conservative and learn to adapt to new situations. But getting such experience once is more than enough. Too expensive to be accepted, if you get what I mean. Haha.. I wouldn't want to do the things that I do not want to do or see myself do or shouldn't do.

These are the movies that we watched:
1) 1 Utama New Wing Cinema, GSC.
RAPUNZEL

Absolutely love it, this is so good to be true that I am FINALLY watching this after yearning for weeks. The story line is really interesting and I actually cried in the end. Lol. Why do all Disney's movies have to be this touching like "Up"? :)

2) 1 Utama Old Wing Cinema, TSC.
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

Love this too, hate the part when Ron was being really childish when he left Hermione and Harry alone in the forest just at the time when they really need to stay together and fight Voldemort. He didn't even cared for Hermione's feelings when he left her just like that. Ego monster. Didn't he actually realize how much she loved him, got so scared and worried when he was injured, took great care of him until he's getting better and stuff like that? She is like the perfect girlfriend (beautiful inside out and smart in the head). But it's okay since he came back in the end just in time to save Harry who got trapped under the icy water and it was funny when he tried to get Hermione's forgiveness. :)

~Hugs~

~The "And So's"~

And so..

Art exam was smooth today, I got just the time I needed to finish my art although my hands were shaking at the start like an old granny. Guess I pushed myself too hard just to make sure I get an A1 for it. I don't wanna get an unexpected surprise from a subject that I have confident in. Well, more to being afraid I will get over-confident in it and then unable to take the pressure IF anything went out of expectations. Aim high but expects something lower and NOT aim high and expects high is something that I really need to learn to avoid disappointments. But whatever the outcome will be, I tried my best in SPM and now, it's up to how far my luck can go. Lol. Run! :)

And so..

I was the last candidate sitting in the examination class and the examiners were talking about accepting unknown friends in Facebook. Oh wait.. I missed out one part. During the exam or should I say at the first 30 minutes, some students actually submitted their piece of artwork with splashes of paints here and there and YET tried to act cool by walking out like 'models on the red carpet'. Lol. I mean, heyyy.. this is EXAM! And I think they made a plan about leaving in a half an hour time and gathered at the assembly area with their bunch of friends. And guess what? I didn't know our school actually provides a place for 'Mat Rempit' activities~ Wow? This gang got their motorcycle all ready at the assembly area downstairs and go vroom vrooomm vrooooommmm~~ Without the 'crash'. I can't help it but to look up and put on an annoyed face and the examiners were all shaking their heads. So, there goes our school's image.

And so..

My mum was talking about Form 6 again. I can see that she really hopes that I could go for Form 6 and attend the local University if I do well.. I do not mind going for Form 6 actually but what worries me is what IF I didn't do well in STPM? I heard that it is not easy at all and the very last thing I want to do in my whole life is to make my mum disappointed. It's like.. I will do anything for her, if she has the expectations on me, then it is my responsibility as her daughter to make it come true. I guess perhaps it's the reason that she is not able to get the educations she wanted last time as my grandmother was really poor. I am aware it is not easy to raise us up as our financial condition aren't good and I want to make a change by not giving up. Educations is like my life.. the only path to excel in life. I really want a straight for SPM because it would help me to get a scholarship and reduce the burden. I still got a younger brother. But with Add Math.. I don't know. Lol.. my eyes are getting watery. Haha..

~Hugs~

~Short and simple~

1) I am feeling so frustrated, nervous yet sleepy for the SPM art exam tomorrow. Picked to paint the fighting fish for tomorrow and I got to pay extra attention to the details and colours which is very time consuming. Had a hard time trying to search for the perfect colours combinations and poses yesterday because I want my fish to look lively, as in able to enhance the moving effect. Was so frustrated yesterday when I could not come out with colours that really stands out (I want something different yet beautiful) and then feel so bad that I wasted so many papers (trees got cut down). But thank God, everything went into order this morning and hopefully things will come out just the way I wanted tomorrow. Aiming for A1. *Sigh*

2) Will be hanging out with Mun and Wei Hua at 1U next Wednesday. And sooo... we will be watching Rapunzel! And Harry Potter! And The Social Network IF possible. :) We got like.. the whole day to catch up with the must watch movies so probably will be back home at about 8 to 9 pm? :)

3) Will be going to school on the next day to help out with the returning of the SPBT books meaning I got to wake up early.. :I

4) Soon, I will be spending my time to paint the house walls. But that will be after SPM. This time, the limit will not stop just at the bedroom or the bathroom but the whole house. :) Splash em' with paints! :) And one thing for sure, no drawings will be done on the walls.

~Hugs~

~ Like A Toy ~

"Once broken considered sold".
True, but I do not agree. Let's make it this way, assume that one day you are given a choice to be transformed either into a whole new expensive toy sold in those big shopping centres OR a secondhand toy which colours are already faded here and there in a junkyard sale? I choose the second option.

I am not saying all but out of 10 kids, you will find only 2 to 3 young children who will truly appreciate their things. I am referring this to wealthy kids who got parents whom can get them anything they want and in this case, toys. Let's start with the first scene: You choose to be transformed into an expensive and classy toy. Mmhmm.. Good decision made, I mean who in the world who do not want to born into something beautiful and have a well arranged life? All you have to do is just to sit down quietly, looking pretty on the shelves while waiting for someone who walk past and go "Ooohhh" and got the cash to buy you home. The thoughts of living in your new home is more than enough to make you fly. Back to the fact, most rich kids, mind you, not all only lay their eyes on these expensive toys. As they are rich, they get to swap anything they want and soon can even compete or boast to their friends about how gigantic their collection of toys are like. 'Fresh' toys are considered the best and their supplies of toys kept multiplying every short duration of time. Because of this reason, most(not all) of the wealthy kids tend not to appreciate all the toys they have and spoiling them with no absolute feeling of guilt as they wouldn't CARE much less about it. I mean, what is the big deal? They can just BUY a new one every time they damaged their toys or get bored with it. So while these lucky humans are feeling happy with the uncountable blessings, what happen to their toys? Badly broken toys, with bits of cotton sticking out here and there, some lost their hands, or end up with a missing tyre thanks to the princess' or princes' beautiful tantrum can only wait to be thrown away. The rich(not all) hardly recycle, they just throw and throw and THROW away things that are already old but still functioning. After all, they can afford to buy a new one. NEW things just keep rolling and rolling. In the end, most of these expensive and classy toys end up in the trash bin with missing compartments. But there is also a possibility that the newly bought expensive toys will end up in good hands, just a slight possibility.

Now, looking from the second scene if you choose to be transformed into an old but still functioning toys sold in junkyards. In such case, you are considered as a secondhand item and are sold at a very cheap price by your previous owner. Unlike the first one, you are placed in a huge basket filled with many other old, smelly and dirty toys but thank God, they are still in one good piece. If you are unlucky, you will get squashed and unable to get any fresh air nor a glimpse of light until someone digs deep enough to bring you out. Nobody like worn out toys. You might have to WAIT long enough to be safely cuddled in the right hands. If you think deep enough, people who actually took their time to look through these bunch of toys and despite the lovely aroma and not so good condition appearance are hard to find. They still buy you regardless how dirty you are or whatsoever. Not to say the amount of time they spend to wash you clean, close up your wounds and stuff like that. At the end of the day, you can't help feeling so LUCKY to be CARED, APPRECIATED and LOVED. The life worth to be waiting for. Hard times are over, the amount of tears you have generously cried when your previous owner mis-treated you and yet being so loyal hoping that one day they finally realized you, not just as a toy but as a friend who will stay with them through hard times. You do not mind being wet all over soaked with their tears, the numerous times to got thrown at the floor when they are in a bad mood because at the end of the day, you know you will get picked up and got hugged to sleep. As a toy, you know your fate, you get played with and when the fun is all gone, you have to prepare for the worst. The day when they got bored of you. Yes, BORED of you. And the cycle goes on and on until that one day arrives. The day you have been yearning for so long, somebody who really appreciates you and is NOT AFRAID to let you know your existance really mean something in his or her life. Even if you are just a toy. The owner that PROTECTS you when his of her mum wants to give you away to the neighbour, the owner that makes sure you will not get HURT by playing with you gently, the owner who checks you are ALRIGHT by making sure his or her sister did not sneak you away silently, the owner that TRUSTS you are not the cause for the ink spillage on the carpet and lastly, the owner who NEVER GAVE up on you even if you are physically not so attractive any longer.

There are also some cases where owners come back searching for you after you got sent away. What I am trying to emphasize is.. why didn't they appreciate you when you are still around? Yes, thy might be upset when you are gone but didn't they thought of how upset you are when they treated you like a fly and eventually chased you away? Simply because you are just a TOY, you can only folow the flow like waves on water.

Toys are like humans. But humans are not toys.

Appreciate people who step into your life and means something to you because you will never know how long will it take to come across someone similiar like the one you had lost. Fear not to turn back because those who really cared for you have always been UNCONDITIONALLY FORGAVE you with every mistakes you had done. Like a mother who forgives her child's mistakes since yw very first day they stepped into this world.



~Hugs~

~Another boring post~

I can't think of what to write in my blog because there are nothing that really bothered my mind this month but I think it look pretty sad with no updates so yeah.. :)

Thursday
Seven down and three more to go. After Science, I couldn't help but to feel more than glad to be able to get a goooooood long afternoon nap that I have been yearning for so badly. Heh. Accounts will be in about in 4 more days time so it is time for me to sharpen up my sword for the next war.

Friday
Woke up at 7 a.m. on this beautiful Friday morning, it was tough. I slept like a log, I guess. Gather at Cosmo World, Berjaya Times Square with WTeng and his brother, my brother and my mum, Louis and his lovely family at 11 a.m. Later did we know, we actually spent almost 7 hours running, jumping, climbing up and down the stairs like little monkeys exploring an island, lining up at the game stations over and over again. We all had a wacky good time giving numerous tries at almost all of the games they had there on both floor, from those kiddy rides like the merry-go-round, cute 'too-too- trains' and 'baby bus' to trillers like the 'spinner', bumper car and so on. It was actually a plan by mummy and Aunty Lily to let me shake all those stresses off me and see me have fun like a little kid, I do not practically cared how messy my hair was, I just want to get high and play like nobody's else business with the rest of the guys. We wallop' every single games they have there together but when it comes to sitting roller coaster, all of them stepped back and prefer to stick their feet on Earth. Surprisingly later on, my brother actually volunteered to go for the ride with me because he knew how much I love roller coasters and stuff like that since I was young even though it means overcoming his fear for roller coasters. This "Jie, if you really want to go for it, I think I can accompany you" word actually came out from my brother who knew that he is the "too scared to scream" type of person because his voice will just go missing in action whenever he go for triller rides. Sad case. It's just his personality, a guy with a soft heart. And the great thing is, he survived the ride. Thank you Chye Soon. :)

This outing somehow turned into something that will stay in my mind forever, a memory that stays with me for my whole entire life because it pulled the family relation between my brother and I closer. I remembered how funny it was when we had to struggle to sit properly on our seats when we were spinning on the 'spinner' and he was complaining that I pushed too hard against him, almost flattening him into a piece of paper because the air force was so strong. Not forgetting the part when we both were always together throughout the whole outing waited for each other every time one of us slowed down and stuff. No one can be a better brother than you. To think bout it, where else in the world will I be able to find a brother who will stay up with me or even to the extend of sleeping in the living room until the wee morning just to accompany me during the exam week? A brother who will not hesitate to eat the skin part of my plate of fish because he knew I will always leave my plate all clean~~ with fish skin. A brother who will keep quiet and not argue back when I give him lectures. A brother who will stay with me when I am afraid. A brother who will wait for me to go upstairs together at night. And the best thing of all? A brother who will never fail to spoil me with respect, care and will only say words which heals and speaks at the right time. All of this and take note : He is younger than me. :) What I can say is I do know how much my brother has been doing for me all these while that's why I love him. :) He might not realize it but I actually feel blessed to be given a brother like him. We reached home at 10 p.m.

Saturday
My neck is killing me after a hectic day yesterday probably due to 'over-twisting' my head at all those crazy rides. Was planning to stay at home but decided to tag along when my mum asked me if I would mind to out of not. I could help to give some opinions and fasten up WTeng's dilemma in purchasing the formal clothes for his so-called 'student exchange program-like' Taiwan trip. Lucky him. I am so happy that he got selected tho. Hopefully, it will be my turn next year. Heheh. :) Stopped by at Giant and Carrefour next to buy some groceries and by the time we got rid of the 'Things to Buy' list, we need to head directly to Pizza Hut to celebrate the two smart people: WTeng's and Racheal's birthday. This time, we reached home at 9 p.m. feeling so bloated up with lots of pizzas and cakes. Hopefully this time, I managed to gain some weight. :)

Sunday
I got 3 hours of account tuition tomorrow from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. , a great way to help me to re-wind all those things that I have learnt this year. I am not ashamed to admit how bad I was in accounts (Failed for F4 final year examination) before I started to attend this tuition by teacher Valery. Going for tuition under her guidance and did loads of never ending exercises for about 8 months actually helped to pull me up from an 'E' to an 'A1' or sometimes 'A2'. It's just the feeling like you're lost in the forest, all alone, cold and there is nobody out there to help you and out of sudden there is a light shining from above with glitters falling down like snowflakes and gently, you're lifted off the ground entering a massive spaceship above you. Something like this with the exception that you're saved by a nice human and not an alien. :) With this, I planned to make a huge card for her with a long letter showing my gratitudes towards her, someone who made this year more meaningful to me by 'saving me from the forest'. Lol.

~Hugs~