~ Self Portrait ~

After a two months long of blogging break.. 

HIIIIIII~ :D

Stitch. Forever so cute. Eheheh. :D

It's been almost a year and 9 months  now since I knocked onto Tzu Chi's door.
I remember it was somewhere close to the end of December 2010. I've just finished my final year of high school and was still deciding on which course and college to sign up for. Probably it was a sudden spark of self awareness or something but everyone in this world will reach this point of life whereby they'll know exactly what they like or want to do in life. Mine was to volunteer myself into a NGO Organization.

A short moment of self awareness is what that gives you a kick start towards how you want to live your life. Life is short. You wouldn't know how much time you've wasted on doing unnecessary things until it's too late to turn back time. Perhaps it's the sense of being "drifted" away from my family and I didn't want to stay at home facing my mom (who was having a long moment of volcanic eruption mood) or maybe it's the boredom from rotting at home but I just knew that I want to find my inner self. The person that I truly am within.

Getting in touch with the community makes me feel good about myself and I love seeing those shining eyes and beautiful smiles on the care recipients' face and by knowing that you're the reason behind it.. it keeps you going. *heart melts* :) When you're being exposed to all sorts of "the not so perfect side" of the society and environment, it'll open your eyes and move your heart. And you know that you ought to do something about it because you love all life.

And what's the best part?

       For being able to reach further for the needy as you get better
       while committing yourself into volunteering. :) ♥

There is always a piece of love for everyone if you grow a garden full of them
:)

Honestly, I've never really understand the purpose behind Master Cheng Yen's teaching. I digest them theoretically but knowing and acting is not the same as understanding and implementing. When I first started, I didn't know how to influence people around me and this indirectly leads to keeping such valuable treasures to myself. It was pretty depressing because I couldn't really stimulate a positive response from my family while I've tried all I can to improve myself to become a better person. A year later, I was assigned to the Tzu Ching group and upon being elected as the youth representative in my Uni, I was again, delighted but lost. I have doubt in my own ability to unleash the humanity spirit from my fellow mates. Unlike most Tzu Ching, I couldn't read Chinese and most of the terms used are often very deep and "formal-like". Crap. :( I mean, I how am I able to guide others when I'm not that good myself? Oh Yun.. :( However, in Tzu Chi, chances are given as long as you're willing to learn and hold the responsibility.

Everything happened in a blink of an eye. At one moment, a senior signed me up for a sign language performance yet to be conducted in the Tzu Chi Hualien Hall in Taiwan at the end of this year. And the next moment, I was in the Malacca state for the "Tzu Ching gan bu training" as well as the rehearsal for the sign language performance. We're supposed to sing while performing and upon receiving the script.. Oh gawd.. CHINESE! That's not so bad, compared to the part where I have to ask a few seniors for pin yin translation and later on found out that I couldn't really understand what does the lyrics means. Ohhhh.. felt so dumb. :( In the end, the seniors translated them into English for me like.. one by one. Hehe.. :)

It was a four days three nights camp and we had to wake up as early as 5am but due to the massive "traffic'' for the restroom (if you don't want to line up for your turn), I ended up waking like an hour earlier. We were divided into groups and I was in Group 1:

Top (from left): Suan Yean, Siao Meng, Hui Xin, Siew Im (Group leader), Zheng Rong, Charles

Bottom (from left): Me, Chu Yun, Gwang mama, Joyce, Yung Ping
:)

Throughout the entire camp, there were a lot of motivational talks, inspiring videos, interactive games in which truly taught us many aspects in life. At the end of each round, a sharing session is conducted so that we could voice our opinions/ experiences/ whatever we have found beneficial from the lessons to be shared among our group members. Gwang mama is always there for us as she diligently listens and gave many valuable insights to guide us into the right frame of mind. Gan en mama! :)  ♥ 

So yeah, of course, I wouldn't skip describing the food part. *teehee* We were feed like almost 5 meals a day! However, there's a rule to only consume until you reach an 80% of fullness because the other 20% could be saved for poverty stricken victims. At the same time, it's also healthier for our body too. Bonus point goes to the fact that they're all superb vegetarian meals. Peace to the environment! *thumbs up* :) Pretty pity that my phone's battery dead flat or else I would have flooded this whole post with pictures. *sigh*

Okay, serious time now.
 

Although I was very drained out after the camp but I've never felt so refreshed" in both the mind and spirit at the same time. 
Master Cheng Yen has an ultimate desire to purify people's heart, achieve a harmonious society and prevent natural disaster from occurring in this world. This then leads to the formation of Tzu Chi in Taiwan.
Her love for the earth and all living beings was so strong that her weak heart held her back, physically in Taiwan but it couldn't even stop her great love from spreading to all parts of the world. She is a true fighter. The camp made me realize the importance of my role as a Sunway University's gan bu and I would do my very best to do my part well. Although the Chinese language is still a barrier for me but I'm not giving up easily.. I really hope that one day, I am able to fluently translate the teachings into English so I could reach out to the English speaking group out there cuz' I know how it feels like mm.. JIA YOU YUNNN! :D

I was scrolling through a facebook page when I saw this:

 How coincident :) ♥

You've airmailed me your most favourite hoodie.
And the rest of the messages speaks the the voice of my heart.

Whenever I see a happy couple, I can't help but to wish that you're right here beside me.. How much I hope that I could reach out to touch you, but every time I do.. it's just the coldness on the screen and your ever smiling face, looking at me through the webcam. I can't help but to make the same wish every night.. If only you could appear just like magic in my bedroom. If only.

I miss you so so so much right now heyy.. Can you hear me?

No matter how far the distance is between us, we'll walk this journey together. ♥

An art test. Literally.

If you were given a task to draw a portrait of someone you've never met before, how would you draw the imaginary face of that person? Impossible? Naww.. What if the descriptions about that person's characteristics are given to you. This is starting to make sense isn't it? Now..

WHAT IF someone else is asked to draw your face based on your personality as being described to them, how would you imagine your face will look like?

What are your elements?

Most of the time, we're too absorbed into making things perfect that we forgot to work on ourselves; the most important project that was given to us the very moment we arrived into this world. When we were born, all we had was a newly made sponge brain. Society and experiences gave us our personality and mold our thinking and mindset into what we have today. We live in an era whereby only the strongest individual will go far and achieve great success. And we want to be that person. So we end up working our ass off while hoping to achieve tangible or material things that provides a great sense of touch. Where as, the intangible, "invisible" qualities are literally left aside when we fail to balance between chores and inner self-responsibilities. And irregardless of stress level, fear, confidence, pride and success, all of these will affect the way we present ourselves and hence, the feeling that people generally get when they see you. I'm not a perfect person myself but I do know that it's important to be always mindfully alert of your speech and behavior in whatever situations that you're in. It's always better to speak less than speaking words which could offend or hurt the heart of people around you.

Give yourself more attention. You need it more than anything else in the world.

~ Thoughts of the Day 15 ~

"Precepts can change our mind and perceptions, which in turn would determine the story of our life."

Human have 5 most horrible mental thoughts:
1) Ignorance
2) To think of being always right
3) Upon conducting a wrong deed, one will naturally console himself by only remembering the good things that he has done in the past hence, not admitting his own mistakes and no regrets.
4) To normally feel that it's a must for people to listen, follow and agree with himself.
5) To take things for granted

No matter how much of a good person one is, there is still a possibility that he will do a bad deed and when that happens, it might even affect other people's life too. Everyone does mistakes but what's most important is to repent. The same problem will resurface if one do not have enough courage to accept his weakness and would give all sorts of reasons to redeem himself. The brain controls our senses where as the heart controls our consciousness. However, that's not the main point. The question is;

Are we actually thinking with the brain or the heart?

Naturally, when we commit an offence, our mind, face, mouth, arms will act accordingly to our misconceptions. At certain cases, there is no turning back at all. When this happens, that would means the start of one's suffering. It is always easier to plan but very difficult to act towards it. Therefore, it is very important to keep our mind at a calm state at all times so we could think with our brain and listen to our heart, both at the same time.

~ Hugs ~