~Delayed Chronology~

"No worry, it's my pleasure and duty to take care of you. All the best to you. Continue to work hard, study hard and most importantly be filial to your parents and take good care of them and your other family members."
                                                                                                   Cheng Jee shigu.

I got so touched and it was a very warm feeling that I felt after reading this sms from her, but shigu, am I doing enough for her, my mum? I do know that all mothers are almost the best creation on Earth not to mention the uncountable sacrifices they made just to mold us into who we are and what we have today. I once vowed to myself that I'll never want to see her cry or get upset ever again and will do anything that to see her smile every day. And up to now, I am still hanging strong to this promise; a promise that she didn't know I made since 7 years old.

I've just calculated that I've not been updating my blog for about 3 week so I'll got a long list to share with you guys. :)

3 weeks ago
Went to work for a 3 days part time job at Global Art Centre to teach young children how to make handicrafts out of soft clays and here's two pictures I managed to snap after we're done with it:

Fast foods (Sorry McD, didn't meant to imitate your products but the children picked to make you. :p)

(A tray filled with lollipop, french toast, biscuits, pumpkin, fruits and OREO :D)

Frankly speaking, I got a bit 'mm se tak' with my two young students at the end of the third lesson although we only met for three days because they were both so sweet. May Buddha bless them both always. :)

2 weeks ago

The last time we learnt how to prepare new food was the Japanese sushi's and for this time, it's the food of our own traditional Chinese culture; a food that existed for a long time ago. Something white and soft.
*Spotlight*

It's THE PAOs. *Wootss~~ clap clap* :p

1) Trying to wrap the fillings in the dough flour like how paos usually look like but in the end, it ended up looking like an onion. (Hehe..)

 2) Baby size pao with kaya fillings *Yummm*

 3) Before: Paos being arranged on the steamer plate before taking to steam.

4) After: Oh my gawd.. so BIG right?

* Take note that both trays are not the same trays so the paos that are placed in them are different but they're all approximately the same in sizes before going through the steaming process.*

Look kinda big, if you ask me but the fact is that if you see it real with both eyes, each of the paos are about 15 cm wide in diameter. So, we were all shocked at first when the steamer cap was removed only to reveal that our small, innocent and cute-looking paos became so big. *Pao pao, why you grow so fast? Naughty.* Probably due adding too much of yeast or not succeeding rolling the dough properly to remove the air bubbles. But it's okay, still taste as great as the sushi. :)

1 week ago

Location: Sunway College Cafeteria
Time      : 11.30 a.m.

Supported Sunway College's "Plant a Tree" campaign on Wednesday because I love the idea of contributing small effort to raise awareness among the students that it is never too late to start caring for our dear Earth. As donors are given a yellow board so that they could all leave a message of what they wish to tell the world and I did, had quite a hard time trying to figure what to write on it. After some time, I thought that it was right after joining Tzu Chi that I started to be concern about the environment so this is what I wrote:

*Fuyoo* I can write Chinese! Well, the embarrassing fact is that's among the few Chinese words or 'roses among the thorns' that I will never forget how to write in my whole entire life. Da Ai; meaning Great Love not only to ourselves, society and also the environment. :)

Actually, we will also be able to do our part for the environment by going vegetarian but it is not easy as I have to consider my family's opinion about it. Usually the right thing to do is not being selfish and to see things from other people's point of view. Plus the fact that my mum does get pissed if I do not take meat because, according to her, I already look like a walking stick (lol, I know mum) but I can't help it. Not that I don't eat a lot at home, she stuffs me with lots of food but sad to say that her effort never.. succeed? Although I, myself am really wishing to gain weight but I have to admit that there are some times when I skipped brunch in college for personal reasons. :p

Occasionally, Tzu Chi will be organizing free health talks for the community and the latest one was to give a deeper understanding of the terminal disease. I was there to help a shigu to take down notes on the program, given the agenda sheet as a reference and to write a report out of it. Generally, I find it really enjoyable to be able to gain new experience and at the same time, sharpen my knowledge about this disease.

I remembered a shibo once said "In Tzu Chi, you will see, hear and encounter all sorts of things that you could not be able to get elsewhere." It was a sharing by a man in during the talk program somehow, managed to reflect perfectly with the shibo's words. Here's a copy of a part of the report I wrote based on the situations I observed that day:

"    After he was done, Dr. Chan was presented a small souvenir by the English group coordinator and a lovely sign language presentation entitled “Giving Love” was performed to all. Deep inside, we know that giving love and spiritual support is the best thing we can do for cancer patients so that we can all overcome it together. Before the talk comes to an end, a man spoke and shared his personal past experience to all. As tears filled his eyes, he slowly unfolds the painful experience he once had when his beloved mother was succumbed to breast cancer, a fact that was quite hard for him to accept. It was such a great pain that even the doctor cannot give morfin to reduce the pain and he was stuck between the decision of letting his mother go peacefully or watching her painfully fighting for her life. By the time he finished, we were deeply moved by his story as we listened with full compassion and watched him silently cry with watery eyes. The atmosphere went still and silent for a short moment when Dr. Chan comforted him with care that it was not the man’s fault based on the medical technology the country had back then. He did it out of love and made a decision, a tough decision, a decision he finally managed to make in the end so he is never wrong and nobody else can say that too. "

I have to admit that after hearing his story, I went to school the next day with a heartache because I can really feel the pain he had inside. To me, he's actually quite tough to be able to gain the courage to share his bitter experience to us all which is not an easy step for him but.. he did it. Let us all pray that Buddha will mend his scar and get over it soon yeah? :) Amitofo.

CAE Task 2 Presentation;

Wore heels to school today for formal clothing purposes and oh my gawd.. the heels are killing me. Literally. It was fine for the first 2 hours but as time flies, I began to wonder how did the office lady managed to stand walking around with heels for the whole day. It is just so.. amazing, don't you think so too? :) I even lost count of the numerous times I wish I could just remove my shoes and walk barefooted up and down the college IF and only IF people won't stare at me when I do that. Haha.. I wish! :) 

And my goodness gracious, the last thing I've ever want to do during the CAE presentation was to get nervous breakdown which.. I did. *Sigh* It was sort of sad and disappointing because it's a group marks we're all working for and I really don't want the awkward moment I have to affect it at all. Especially when I saw how Vip Kent and Jia Jin did their best to present their part well and it's definitely not worth it to lose marks just because I didn't do mine smoothly. So guilty. :( So, in the end, I tried to cover up my mistakes at the second part of the slides hoping it'll work. Wheww... :)

当你喜欢一个人，你是不是会偷偷看他?

............................................

Wo hao xiang you dian kai shi xi huan shang ni le.

~Hugs~

~ 5 minutes to 12a.m. ~

I was quite upset recently as I've not been doing as well as I should have done for my EE. My econ marks was way below average, a surprise so huge that I couldn't accept at first. Imagine the feeling you get when your econ marks were never below an 80 back then in secondary school and what is displayed in your eyes right now is just so.. omygawd. *Squeek*  So I guess what Miss Visha said was right, we need to change the way we study. After all, I've been using the same studying method since primary up to secondary and this kinda looks like a morning call to tell me that it's time to modify my learning system already. Mm.. It's okay, let's see how the new plan works. :) Jia you Yun!! :D

Went to Sunway Pyramid for an early Subway lunch with four good friends, something that I've never thought would happen as it's all so sudden and spontaneous. urm.. How'd am I supposed to say this? Can't find the right word to describe. :p Anyway, the restaurant was crowded with quite a number of children in identical and matching striking red T-shirts whom I thought were orphans at first. I don't know why but I have this special kind of feeling (mixture between joy and stuff) the very moment I see them although they're total strangers to me simply because they reminds me of the young HIV children in Rumah Jaireh. Eventually, I can't help but to start waving and saying 'hi' to them. Later only I found out that these children are actually our country's young and talented sports players who might bring fame to the country in the future. Ooopsss.. So embarrassing but I'm kinda glad to find out that they did not turn to be orphans like what I've thought. :) Amitofo. :)

One month seems to past so fast and in a blink of an eye, I'll be visiting Rumah Jaireh again tomorrow morning with my fellow Tzu chi volunteers and.. a good friend who will be joining us for the first time and I really hope to bring more friends along in the next visit in July. :) Aaahhh.. can't wait for it, really miss the children so much. :D

I saw many trees which got cut down just to give way for construction sites today while crossing canopy walk.. Kinda saddening to see the bare grounds but anyhow, let's just hope new trees will be planted soon right after they're done with their job. :(

My mum never throw away egg shells (selected ones) because this is what she wants me to do with them:

I supposed you'll be wondering what she does with them and yes, she actually decorated the plants with it. :)

~ Thought of the Day 3 ~

Regret.

Just six small alphabets but it carries a big meaning, so powerful that it can actually make your mind wander off into the memory of your past. After a moment or two, you'll start to realize that you have been unlocking, blowing dust throughout your way of searching and flipping through files containing catastrophe that once struck your life. Regret comes flowing in when you did not do something that you wish you had done, an painful experience that gives you a lesson worth a lifetime.


I don't want to regret for not living a meaningful life when I am still in this world and doing things that I could do to help the people out there who need spiritual support and love. 


I don't want to regret for not cherishing every single moments I have with my family.


I don't want to regret for not giving my all in studies.


I don't want to regret for not appreciating all the good friends I have now.


I just dislike the feeling of regret but nobody is perfect so I do make mistakes sometimes. However, no matter how sour things turns out like, I will never hate my life but rather to enjoy every single ups and downs in it simply because I love it. Everything comes from choices you make. There was once this story which I read online about this young man who will ask himself of how he wants his day to be like  every morning when he woke up from sleep. He chose happy over sad. If things did not go smoothly, he choose to learn from his mistakes instead of wasting his time mourning over it and so on. I'm sure you can see the whole idea of what's he's doing. He's just choosing the better option and following it attentively. Simple as that and it's actually kind of easy if we learn to stay calm at hard times and see things from a different point of view. I'm in the process of learning this. Would you?


Something small to end the day:

* I hope that every day of your life will be filled with colours. :) *


~Hugs~

~ At the end of the Rainbow ~

My precious stone.

4th of June, the day she was borne into this world and ever since then, she had been a very important individual in my life. Had she gave up on me, I would have been a total different person as I am now, perhaps someone who is still introvert inside and locking myself in isolation, refusing to open my door to anyone else but myself. Yes, hard to believe but this was once true. She once confessed that I could be the toughest girl that anyone could understand and she could never succeed figuring out what's in my mind until that very day; when I finally broke down into tears and spilled my hearts out. So much after years of living together and for more than 12 years of sisterhood, it was never an easy journey for both of us. No words can describe all the things you had done for me and for that what you did that made me who I am now. You lift my spirit off the ground when I was down deep into the blue sea and walk the darkest time with me with a warm smile. You're always sincere and was not only my best listener, advisor, supporter but also a friend who has been placing myself first right in front of yourself from the very beginning and I promise do the same to you too. Simply because you're my sister and I love you.

Thank you jie for everything. Happy 21st Birthday. :)

Tagged along with Claire shigu for the Home Visit in Batu Caves under Tzu Chi yesterday with just a few numbers of senior volunteers. At first it doesn't make any sense to me of why there are only 6 of us in total instead of the usual 30 who usually helped out in the HIV Community Center in Batu Arang. Later did I know the reason why. We arrived at a housing area of flats who's clothes looked pretty worn out of paint from the outside and the condition didn't turn for the better in the inside either. We took the lift up to the 17th floor, headed to a greyish brown coloured door through a small corridor and were greeted by a four years old boy who popped his head between the door gap with a huge beam on his face. Upon entering, I was stunned to find that the house holds 13 Indian family members ( 11 children and 2 adults) and it was so small that you can easily 'explore' the whole area by not moving a single inch.

The room isn't fully equipped with any household devices and their only source of light was from the window itself. I wonder how'd their night life will be like. As the weather was mild when we first visited them in the morning, however, the heat was intolerable when the sun started blazing hot the moment the clock struck 1pm. Adding to the fact that all 19 of us gathered in the small but decent room. Deep inside, we know they are grateful to be able to shelter themselves from the non-constant weather changes and having a proper place to sleep at night. Although they're living in a poverty stricken condition however, the children showed deep interest and were keen to fight hard against their strongest enemy: Language. Communication was a huge barrier and this raises concern as we were afraid they wouldn't be able to communicate with the society. So, we taught them how to speak basic English, hoping that it will at least help them when they leave school and enter the workforce. After the teaching session, Claire shigu gave them all each cute little stickers as a form of motivation so they will push themselves harder. Although the gifts wasn't much but in such situation......


It's not about the price of the item that matters but the thoughts.. the sincere thoughts of giving that worth a million smiles. :)

Made this with a young friend of mine:

Cute? :)

100% DIY 'n' made with lots and lots of glues, newspapers, and some paints. :) I gave her the bunny tho, but it's okay as the photo too holds a lot of memories. :)

~ Thought of the Day 2 ~

Often we come across news about people living in poverty stricken areas, some of them suffer from malnutrition, some suffer a painful death from diseases, kids running around villages without proper clothing attire with their hair un-comb and the adults struts and frets about live their life with frustration thinking when will these sufferings finally end in the newspapers and TV channels. Yes, I am pretty sure that most of us feel heavyhearted after watching the hardship faced by millions of lives globally. However, we will not be able to fully understand all the things that they have gone through simply by just watching them through the screen unless...

we see them personally with out own eyes

     

     listen deeply into their voices

               

               understand with compassion with out thoughts

                                  

                                  and feel it with nothing else but our heart

Nobody is born perfect but if everyone work together, we can all fill in the gaps in between of what we lack. It's like cutting a piece of fabric out of your own clothes and exchange it among your friends. Each fabric will not fit perfectly into the holes in our clothes but the gaps can be mend if you take your time to slowly sew them together. Instead of having just one type of fabric, you will have a collection of different colours, textures, prints and size. By then, each of us will have a unique piece of each other- we learn what we do not have in the beginning. :) One who is kind, never selfish to share and gives himself selflessly to help the ones in need will never lose but only gain happiness in life. After all, nothing beats the joy of seeing the beautiful curve you put on someone's face with a kind act of yours. The small deeds you do might seems nothing to you but it may in fact.. means a lot to others. 

The power of small act. :)

~Hugs~